


Gravel and Wine

by nyraren



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Eventual Smut, F/M, References to Drugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:21:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28266792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyraren/pseuds/nyraren
Summary: You are a successful DEA Agent from California sent to help with finding Escobar. Thought this was never part of the plan for you, life always found a way to make you run away from your personal problems; and when an opportunity presented itself, there was no way you could decline.
Relationships: Javier Peña/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 63





	1. Colombia

**Author's Note:**

> New fic because I lost juice for my other ones... I'll try my best to finish them soon. So sorry y'all. Most of this will also be in English because my Spanish is garbage.

This was going to be different from what you were used to, and your anxiety was beginning to overwhelm you as you got off the plane. The darkness under your eyes didn’t help your case either. You left rather abruptly- no sweet farewells and no information on where you were going... Not that your father cared much. You packed as quickly as you could, taking only the necessities, and headed straight to the airport for the next flight to Colombia.

On the plane, you read the notes you made from the files regarding Escobar. Every now and then you would make extra notes on the side in a red ink, underline some things, and of course, ordered gin and tonics. Despite the alcohol, you couldn’t seem to shake your nerves. You were briefed about who you would work with, and by the sound of it, it’s a man’s world. This wasn’t surprising of course, but you still hoped they would treat you better than they boys in Los Angeles. 

The stewardess announced that the plane was landing soon. Reaching into your brown leather bag, you found the little makeup kit. You quickly began your routine to hide the fatigue with creams and powders, a little blush to make you look more alive, and a soft mauve lip color to tie it all together _._ Using the compact mirror, you carefully inspected your work. This was as good as it was going to get. 

The ride to the embassy seemed even longer than the plane. You stared out the window to take in the sights and smells of Colombia and chewed on your cheek as the destination got closer. Upon arrival, you found the U.S. ambassador already waiting for you.

“Miss L/N, welcome to Colombia,” she said, stretching her hand to meet yours. “I hope your flight was pleasant.”

“Thank you, Ambassador. It was as good as it can be,” you laughed, shaking her hand.

“The rest of the team will meet us in the office shortly. Shall we?” 

You nodded and followed the woman. Inside, you were welcomed with the cacophony of telephones ringing, people murmuring, typewriters ticking, and the smell of cigarettes and coffee filling the air. _Smells like home,_ you thought with a smile. You were met with a few glances from the men as you continued your way through the building. Finally, you reached the Ambassador’s office. It was quiet, no smoke, and lots of expensive furniture. Three chairs were placed in front of the large mahogany desk. You took the one directly in the middle. 

“Please take a seat, Miss L/N. The others are on their way. Care for coffee? Tea? Perhaps something stronger?” 

You shook your head. “I’m fine, m’am. I can wait until the evening for a stronger beverage.” The ambassador nodded and took her seat behind the large desk. She folded her hands delicately, thumbs tapping at one another. The two of you chatted for a few minutes before two voices echoed in the hall behind the doors. 

As the men opened the doors, you turned in your seat to take a look at the two men. You were already briefed about them: Stephen Murphy and Javier Peña. Their eyes met with yours as they settled into the remaining chairs. 

“Good morning, gentlemen. This is Agent L/N from California. She’s here to-”

“Babysit us?” Murphy grumbled as he placed a cigarette between his lips. With an outstretched arm, he offered Peña one, ignoring you completely. You pursed your lips, feeling the heat on your cheeks. The men lit their cigarettes, filling the room with swirls of smoke. 

“She is not here to babysit the two of you. She’s here to help, now if you two can get the sticks out of your asses-”

“With all due respect, ambassador, that’s bullshit and you know it,” Peña responded. “No offense to you, Agent L/N, but we both know your efforts are more needed back in the States.”

You raised a brow as he pointed his cigarette at you. In an effort to show your confidence, you snatched the cigarette out of his hand and placed it between your lips, inhaling it slowly. The smoke curled out of your mouth as you watched Peña swallow. “No offense taken, Agent Peña, but perhaps you could consider that more help could lead to the arrest of Escobar. Close encounters don’t mean shit, and **you** know that.” You handed the cigarette back to Peña and leaned back in your chair.

The ambassador studied the three of you. Silence lingered in the room as you and Peña scowled at one another. “She’s right,” Murphy said, breaking the spell. “We understand, ambassador. Isn’t that right Peña?” The two exchanged looks and stood from their seats simultaneously. “I apologize for our reactions, ambassador. It won’t happen again. You’ll have to excuse us, Agent L/N.” The men extinguished their cigarettes on the amber glass ashtray that was placed on a table by the door.

“Good. Take Agent L/N and get her caught up. I don’t want to hear any complaints, got it?”

With hands on his hips, Peña nodded, then motioned for you to follow them. The men were silent as the three of you headed to their office. As soon as you all entered the room, Murphy closed the door behind you. “Alright, California,” Peña started. _California? How unique..._ you thought as you leaned against the doorframe. “You’re young, and don’t have as much experience than we do, but I will acknowledge the skills you clearly have.”

“We’ve read your files. Impressive, but Peña’s right. Drug busts in Los Angeles and Central California aren’t the same thing. Colombia’s a different ball game, sweetheart. We need to know if you have our backs.” Murphy sat on the only empty space on the desk and crossed his arms, while Peña leaned against the opposite side of you. “Escobar’s a slippery eel. He’s clever. Not like the wannabe scientists and their meth labs.”

“Agent Murphy, I can assure you I understand the complexities and challenges you have faced here. I’ve studied the cases thoroughly, and-”

“Studying doesn’t mean **shit**. We need you on your A Game at all times, Agent L/N. Got it?” Peña said as he lit another cigarette. You fought the urge to roll your eyes before nodding. Murphy offers you a cigarette this time. Peña leans to light the tobacco. His eyes met with yours as he studied your face. You were unsure what he was trying to read, but you did your best to keep a poker face. 

“Alright, let’s get started then,” you said with a sigh. 

You spent the entire afternoon going over the information you were already briefed with as well as some information that was not included in the files sent to you. After multiple cups of coffee and a whole pack of cigarette, you began to understand why the men were so aggressive before. You knew Escobar was slippery, but as you gained more information, part of you was beginning to regret this move to Colombia. It was too late now. There was no turning back. Even if you did, you would be a laughing stock. 

"L/N?" 

You shook your head. Peña was staring at you with a brow raised. "What? I'm sorry I was just thinking." Murphy was no longer in the room, and you didn't realize that the chatter had diminished and the room had gotten dark.

"I said are you hungry?" 

"Oh. Actually, yeah... Where did-"

"Steve went home... you even said bye to him... You feeling alright?" He asked, chuckling.

"I'm fine. Just tired from the plane ride. Sorry."

"Sure. Well, I'm heading out to grab dinner if you'd like to join. We live in the same building now, so I can show you how to get to and from too."

You stretched your arms and rolled your neck. You didn't know this at the time, but Peña's eyes had traveled from your face to your chest as the fabric tightened against your body, contouring your _assets_. He cleared his throat and began shuffling some papers on the desk you were sitting on. "Yeah, let's do that. Let me grab my luggage from the office." You headed back to the office to find your small suitcase and purse. Upon your return to the briefing room, you found Peña finishing up the tidying. 

"Let me get that for you, Agent L/N," he said, taking the suitcase from you.

"Thanks... And please. Just Y/N is fine."

The two of you headed out the building to find his car. He unlocked the passenger side first, then placed your suitcase in the back seat. In the car, the two of you remained silent. Whether it was a choice or you were both just tired, you weren't sure, but it was not as awkward as you thought it would be. He parked the car in front of a little cafe with a bright red neon sign outside. Inside there were a few people having dinner or coffee. Peña picked a table at the far left corner and handed you the. menu that was placed on his side.

You pretended to read the menu as you attempted to decipher the words. Peña already knew what he was ordering and was watching you with a smirk on his lips. 

"Need help?"

You chuckled. "Yeah, I think so."

"Are you picky?"

"No."

"Good. Do you trust me?"

"I mean, I guess..." 

"Try this one," he said with a laugh, pointing to number six. 

"Sudado de Pollo... Arroz... Rice. Pollo... chicken... Good enough for me," you responded with a shrug. Peña laughed again and waved for a waitress to tend to your orders.

"So, Agent Peña-"

"Javier. Javi is fine."

"Javi. Got it. Where are you from?"

The evening went on like that. Conversations about one another. It nearly felt like a first date, but less romantic. The heat from the weather and the warm food made you sweat. You probably looked like garbage by now, and the cream silk blouse you wore probably looked filthy. Javi drank two bottles of beer while you sipped on a bottle of some orange soft drink. After you two finished dinner, you were about to pay for the two orders, reaching into your purse for your wallet when Javi motioned for you to stop.

"My treat, California," he said with a wink. "I owe you for my behavior earlier."

"Thanks..." you said, rolling your eyes. 

After paying, the two of you got back in the car. You could feel your eyes getting heavy as he drove to the apartment complex. You did your best to stay awake, but you were beginning to nod off. You dreamt of home in California for a fleeting moment before you wore woken by Javi clearing his throat. "We're here." You yawned and rubbed your eyes. 

"Sorry, how long was I...?"

"Not long." A lie. You had fallen asleep for at least thirty minutes, and the travel time from the cafe was only ten minutes. Javi had let you sleep for a bit while he smoked a cigarette or two outside the car. 

You and Javi stepped out of the vehicle. Again, he got your luggage. You followed him into the building after he locked his car. "What number?"

"C3," you responded. 

He led the way to the second floor. "Here you are, California. And... sorry again about this morning."

"Don't worry about it." _I'm used to it._ You wanted to be snarky, but the man bought you dinner. Maybe there's some kindness in his heart after all.

Javi nodded. "I'm the one downstairs. Murphy is down the hall. Call us if you need anything."

"Thanks. Goodnight, Javi."

"Goodnight, California."

You smirked before heading inside. He was a flirt and not bad on the eyes, but you knew better not to mix pleasure with your profession. 

"Be professional," you mutter before collapsing on the sofa.


	2. Fuego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first stakeout with Peña and Murphy turns sour. The three of you are tailing some of Escobar's men when they spot you. What could go wrong?

It has been two months since your arrival, and things are definitely not the same as the shit you went through back in California. There was a lot more blood. So many bodies... It made you sick every night. You didn't usually drink every day, but things change you suppose. The first few weeks wasn't so bad. More briefs, reading, tracking down files, et cetera. You spent every afternoon in the bathroom for about ten minutes to recharge in silence, then grabbed lunch with the boys. At night, you found yourself either by yourself driving around with the car the embassy assigned to you, or eating dinner with Javi. He was good company most nights. He was helping you with your Spanish and learning about Colombian culture while the two of you eat your dinner. Sometimes when you had a long day, you would order beer and took walks around the neighborhood with him. You always invited Murphy and his wife, but he usually declined. Part of you always hoped he would decline so you could be alone with Javi. He was easy on the eyes and he tends to flirt with you, but you liked to pretend to not notice. Besides, you had to be professional. Right?

Overall, Colombia and work were fine. There were a few heated arguments between the three of you, but it was always resolved. The boys were beginning to get used to you and your personality, and you got used to theirs. Routine was beginning to form in the office and after work hours. It was good; maybe even healthier compared to working with the DEA in California. On this particular afternoon, the three of you found yourselves sitting around, noses deep into files, the briefing room filled with smoke. You were sitting on the floor, legs crossed, a file in one hand while the other was rubbing the back of your neck. Murphy was standing in front of the board with his hands on his hips, and Javi sat on the table a cigarette between his lips. His eyes stared at the photographs and strings connecting the various cartel members to locations and events, but sometimes you could have sworn he stole glances at you. 

Today's outfit of choice was a black blouse paired with dark jeans and brown boots. You put your hair into a messy twisted bun- your signature look when working. Perhaps it was out of boredom, or perhaps it was you testing whether Javi truly was looking at you, you decided to fuck with him just a bit. So, with your fingers, you slowly dragged it all over your chest, pretending it was just a mindless act as you studied the files. Every time you did it, Javi would shift in his seat or clear his throat. Every now and then you would bite your thumb. _Just fun and games_ , you'd think as you suppressed a smirk. Before you could do anything else, the phone rang. The three of you turned to the phone, hearts beating quickly. Murphy got to it first. 

"Murphy. What?" 

Pause.

"Where?"

Pause.

"We're on it."

Click.

"Let's go," he said, grabbing his gun from the table.

"What's going on?" you asked as you scrambled to get up.

"Poison was spotted."

You and Javi exchanged looks and followed Murphy. You grabbed your guns, bulletproof jackets, and sunglasses, then Javi began barking orders at groups of police officers. _Here we go._ The three of you hurried to Javi's car- Murphy got shotgun and you in the back. The adrenaline surged in your body as your team headed to the location. This was the kind of shit that made you stay in the profession. That and... well, that's a story you hate to think about. Javi drove as quickly as he could, careful not to go too fast. He parked a block away from the building. It looked like a brothel. Through a window, you spotted Poison walking across the room talking to someone. 

"There!" you whispered, leaning in your seat. The boys nodded.

"You ready, California?" Murphy asked.

"I have to be."

"Good."

Javi radioed the officers and gave specific instructions. The rush of the adrenaline gave you a high better than the buzz of any cigarette. Police officers surrounded the area- there was no way these guys could escape. The three of you made your way to the front of the building, motioning the women to stay quiet. Murphy led the way while you and Javi followed. You were nearly on the same floor as Escobar's men when one of his men came out of one of the rooms. Bullets began to fly, and the sounds of screaming echoed through the building.

"GO!" Javi yelled as you and a few officers ran after the suspects. You could hear Poison and at least two others running for the roof. "THEY'RE HEADING UP! COVER ME!" you yell as you shot at the first man you ran into. Missed. The three of you and two other officers hurried to the rooftop. More bullets flew past your team. _Nearly there_. Murphy was faster than you, and by the time you were at the top, he was already chasing Poison. You paused to find where the other two suspects were, but before you could even move, you felt Javi pull you against him as a bullet flew by your head.

"Keep your head in the fucking game, Y/N. Go!" 

You nodded and began running after the one who shot you. You never actually killed anyone... At least not on purpose. There has only been one incident where you managed to kill someone, but the guy didn't die from the bullet. He survived and was taken to the hospital, but died from blood loss. It didn't count. As you, Javi, and Murphy chased the men on the rooftops, you couldn't help but think of the worst. _Be smart. Tire him out_ , you thought as you ran. The man kept shooting, but missed every time. He led you through a building, pushing obstacles in your way. As quickly as you could, you maneuvered your way around it and followed him to the street. He was getting tired. There it was: your moment. The man stopped for a good few seconds, and that was enough for you to aim your gun.

"STOP! FREEZE!" you yelled. He turned, gun pointed at you. "DROP YOUR FUCKING WEAPON!"

"VETE A LA MIERDA PERRA!" He tried to shoot at you, but you were able to duck behind a brick wall in time. Then you heard the best sound you could imagine: click, click, click. He was out and this was it. You leaned enough to shoot the man. It was a blur. You saw him fall back as the bullet penetrated his head. Three police officers approached the body, guns at the ready while you took a moment to breathe. Were you even breathing this whole time? You could feel the acid climbing up your throat. The look the man had on his face burned in your mind. He wasn't afraid... He was **ready**. It was survival of the fittest here, and death was a better road to take than being captured. 

Around the corner, you could hear Javi calling for you. It felt as though the world began to spin as you hunched over to vomit. Beads of cold sweat ran down your forehead as you emptied your stomach. The chunks of human flesh and brain etched in your memories forever. You murdered someone. There was no going back. Javi came to your side, strong hands grabbing your shoulders.

"Get your shit together, Y/N. Come on," he said, forcing you to stand. 

"Where's Murphy?"

"Back at the front. Poison got away."

"What about the other guy?"

"Gone."

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, and stood to face Javi. You were pale and the look of shock frozen in your eyes. He softened his expression and stared at you for a few seconds. "You did good, California. You did good." 

The ride back to the office was extremely quiet. You could feel Javi and Murphy's frustration with Poison's escape, but there was no one to blame. They were all snakes and eels. They had eyes and men everywhere. Night had fallen by the time the three of you finished the reports needed for today's events. Murphy was quiet the whole evening, silently tapping on the typewriter. Javi kept a close eye on you, offering you a cigarette from time to time which you gladly took every single time. You were still pale from shock, but you managed to get through the paperwork. Murphy finished his report, bid farewell, and headed out the door before anyone could say goodbye. You had finished yours earlier, but you hadn't moved from the desk. You couldn't stop thinking about what you had done.

"Come on," Javi said, putting his leather jacket on.

"What?"

"Just come on," he said, offering his hand to you. 

"Where-"

"No questions. Come on."

You grabbed your gun and took his hand. He noticed how cold and clammy you were and gave you a gentle squeeze. He let go as soon as you stood and led you to his car. "Leave your car here. Let's take mine." In the car, you began chewing on your thumbnail, eyes glazed. 

"First time?"

"What?"

"First time killing someone?"

You nodded and sighed heavily. "I don't know what I was expecting... I didn't think I would be that weak."

Javi shook his head. "You're not. I promise you, you're not."

"Does it get easier?"

"No."

"Where are we going?"

"The store. Stay in the car."

Javi turned a corner and parked in front of a liquor store. You didn't notice how long he was gone, but by the time he returned he had a bag filled with two different bottles of alcohol, a couple packs of cigarettes, and some kind of snack. _Good idea, Javi. Drink my sorrows away._ Javi parked the car across the street from the apartment and turned to you. "You don't have to come inside if you don't want to, but I think you shouldn't be alone tonight."

He was right. You were in no condition to be by yourself, and you needed company more than ever. Javi exited the car with the goods in hand, and motioned for you to follow him to his apartment. His home was simple. Not much decorations- very much a bachelor's pad. You took your shoes off and placed it by the door, and headed straight to the sofa. You wondered how many women went through those doors before untying your hair. Javi was in the kitchen looking for glasses and his ashtray.

"Gin or whiskey?" The only liquor that you really drank. 

"You remembered."

"Of course I did."

"Gin. With lime if you have it."

Javi returned with a glass of gin for you and whiskey for him. He sat on the other sofa and opened the new pack of cigarettes. "Talk to me, California. How are you holding up?"

You sipped the gin, wincing slightly. "I don't know. I'm just in shock. It was... It was nothing I imagined."

"Of course not. Do you regret it?"

"No."

You reached for the pack of cigarettes, and Javi leaned to light it for you. You inhaled deeply and lifted your head towards the ceiling before letting the smoke curl out of your lips. "This shit is harder than I thought, Javi." You closed your eyes as you sucked on the cigarette again. "These guys... They're not scared of death." You sat up and ran a hand through your hair. "What the fuck am I doing here? I vomited. I was weak-"

"Stop. You get used to it, Y/N. It won't ever get easier, but you'll get used to it."

You moved towards the end of the sofa, closer to Javi. "What's your secret?" You asked, drinking more of the gin. Javi leaned towards you, noses nearly touching. The smell of whiskey and cigarette escaped his lips. Maybe it was liquid courage, but before he could answer, your lips were on his. Careful not to burn anything, you did your best to put your cigarette out. You felt his hands find its way to the back of your neck, gripping it tightly. He could probably feel your pulse quickening as his tongue traced your lips. A moan hummed in your chest as his tongue entered yours. 

_Fuck._


	3. Lamentar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night with Javi can complicate things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAH. IT'S SMUT. GO AWAY IF YOU'RE NOT 18+

How did this happen in the first place? You were just talking before this all happened, but could either of you blame yourselves? Maybe it was the alcohol. Yeah, it was the alcohol... Javi was on top of you on his sofa, hands tracing the contour of your body. His lips made its way to your neck and chest as his hands squeezed your breasts, making you moan louder. You could feel the warmth swirling in your abdomen. "Does this always happen with your female coworkers, Javi?" you teased.

He paused to look at your flushed face. "Only when they need my help." You propped yourself on your elbows, a brow raised. It was working- you were **very** distracted. As gently as you could, you pushed Javi onto his back and straddled him. You could feel the hardness beneath you, causing you to grind against him automatically. "Fuck," he whispered, watching you intently as you began to unbutton your blouse. His eyes focused on your chest. "Jesus." Javi gripped your waist before lifting you off of him. You were about to protest when his lips crashed yours once again. He was more aggressive this time. Javi pushed you against the wall and began to take his shirt off. He reached behind you to release the clasps of your bra, then tossed it behind him. He paused and took a step back as he stared at your breasts.

"What is it?" you asked breathlessly.

"You're... well, bigger than I imagined."

"Oh? You were imagining me?" you grinned, pulling him by the front of his pants. Javi smirked and ran his hands slowly all over your breasts. He pinched the hardened mounds, causing you to moan loudly. 

"You sound good, California," he whispered into your ear. You felt your spine tingle as his breath tickled your ear. Javi continued to feel you, then something made you gasp. He palmed your entire core, fingers slowly dragging between your legs. "Let me fucking hear you." You bit your lip and placed your hands on his shoulders. You had your eyes closed as he teased you, but you could tell he was watching every face you made, taking mental photographs. He released you but only to pin one of your hands above your head. Javi worked on your neck again before asking something no one as has ever asked you before.

"Let me see you play with yourself."

Slowly, you undid your belt and unbuttoned your pants, revealing your red lace underwear. He leaned back a bit to watch your fingers slip down your underwear. You were soaked. You teased yourself by doing slow circles around the lips, then the sensitive bud of nerves. It made you breathe harder, but Javi had something more in mind. He waited for you to put your own fingers inside before placing his hand on top of yours. You gasped as his middle finger joined yours.

"So... So wet. You're fucking tight."

The two of you worked together as you neared climax, but the man was cruel. He pulled his hand away, taking yours with him and slamming it against the wall. You glared at Javi who was chuckling at your frustration. "Let me go, Javi," you huffed, struggling under his grip. Javi planted bites and kisses on your neck and breasts before kissing your lips. "Not yet," he responded. With one swift move, he turned you over, face against the wall, and hands behind your back. You felt Javi pulling your jeans down to your knees, then a hard slap. "Shit, Y/N. Red lace, huh? It's like you knew this would happen..."

You blushed. It wasn't that he was completely wrong... You _did_ intend to wear the red ones in hopes that he might catch a glimpse if you bent over, but this? No, this was not part of the plan. Javi ran his hands up and down your body, slapping your behind every now and then. You liked it... You _really_ liked it. You didn't have a lot of sexual encounters back in California. Maybe some fingering with some guy in the dark parts of a club or bar, but not a lot of actual intercourse. You didn't want to complicate your life with shit like that. You were too sensitive, and you knew what could happen if it went too far with a guy. 

Javi found his hand between your legs once again, fingers teasing so slowly before two entered your folds. Another groan rumbled in your throat as he pumped them in and out. He was _good._ He knew exactly where to go, and the right combinations to hear the sweet sounds he desperately needed. "I know you were teasing me in the office earlier. You don't think I know what you're doing?" he growled, nibbling on your ear. "I know you notice me looking at you, and you just kept pushing me. Even when you're arguing with me, I _know_ what you were doing." He was right about that. The tension between the two of you never went unnoticed. Even Murphy could tell, and would sometimes tease Peña about it- of course he also warned him about the consequences with sleeping with a coworker. 

"Yeah? Well it worked, didn't it?" you asked. Javi slipped another finger inside you while the thumb worked your very swollen clit. "Jesus- Fuck, Javi-"

"You close?"

"Y-yes, keep going, Javi. Please, keep-"

"No."

Javi removed his hand. You could hear him licking his fingers before snaking it around you, finding your breast. "I want you to come on me. I want you screaming my name and begging for more." He squeezed your breast, pinching your nipple enough to make you moan and toss your head against his chest. Javi grunted in response, feeling the tightness in his jeans. He couldn't take it anymore. He turned you around and crashed his lips to yours, devouring you as he led you to his bed. He let you fall on it, admiring the view as he took his jeans and underwear off. You slipped out of the remaining clothes you had before getting on all fours. "Take me from behind," you whispered. Without any hesitation, Javi joined you on the bed. He positioned himself before running his member up and down your slick entrance. You wanted him. He knew it. He could feel it radiating off of you. Slowly, he pushed his way inside, spreading you open. Whether you were just tight, or he was larger than you expected you weren't sure, but you did feel a bit of pain as he continued pushing making you hiss.

"You alright?" he asked. There was a hint of concern in his tone, but you reassured him by pushing your behind further on him. Javi smiled and ran his nails down your back. He was slow at first- testing the water. It wasn't long before the melodic moaning and the gripping of the sheets cued him to go faster. He gripped your hips and pumped in and out, grunting deliciously as his body slammed against yours. It pleased him seeing you like this. The number of times he imagined you in his bed was incomparable to the real thing. The warmth of your skin... Your taste on his tongue... It was intoxicating. Javi's hand found your shoulder, bringing you against his chest. He wanted to see your breasts bouncing like this, and you knew it. His hands traveled from your stomach to your breasts, then gripped them as he pounded you harder. You tossed your head back so he could see his hands groping and teasing your nipples. 

"Fuck, you look good like this. I want to hear you scream my name."

"Javi! Oh, god-"

"Yes, fuck!"

"I-"

"Fucking COME."

That was all he had to say. You screamed his name as you reached your limit. Javi paused to watch and feel you writhing and trembling against him, then he grabbed a fistful of your hair, tugging it enough to make you scream his name once again. Without missing a beat, Javi turned you onto your back, and wrapped your legs around him. As much as he liked seeing you in that position, he wanted a full view of you. He continued to fuck you senseless, and it didn't take long for the second climax to build. You arched your back, tossed your head, and gripped the sheets around you. "Javi!" you moaned. "Fuck...!" Once again, you found yourself shaking against him as he reached his own climax. Quickly, he slipped out before he could fill you. "Come on me, Javi," you whispered weakly. Within moments, you heard a final grunt and felt hot fluid on your abdomen. Breathing heavily, Javi collapsed beside you. There was a short moment of silence before the two of you broke into laughter.

"Shit, Javi. What the hell just happened?"

Javi propped himself up on his elbows and looked at you with a smile before kissing your forehead. "Something great just happened," he responded before reaching into the side table's drawer to pull out a tissue. He carefully began to clean you before heading back to the living room for cigarettes and an ashtray. He offered you one and helped you sit up. "You feeling okay?" He asked, the sense of pride swelling inside him. _He_ did that to you. Made you _weak._

"Yeah, just tired from... cardio," you responded as he lit your cigarette. He turned a lamp on and leaned back against the headboard. "We can't let anyone know about this, Javi."

He let out a sigh and nodded. "Yeah... but you were a little loud, you know... Steve and Connie might have heard."

You turned to face him, brows furrowed. "You wanted it." 

Javi chuckled and kissed your lips gently. "I know. You feel a little better at least?" You shrugged and inspected your body. You could see the red marks that would later turn into little blue bruises on your breast. 

"Sort of... Great distraction, but I think I'll be limping tomorrow." 

Javi blushed as he watched you check the marks he made on your body. "Let's just say you weren't used to running that much today." The two of you laughed as you finished your cigarette. "Get some sleep. Tomorrow's a day off anyway. We'll sneak you back to your apartment in the morning." As rough as he was a few minutes ago, Javi knew how to be gentle as well. He helped you get under the covers before finishing his cigarette and turning the light off. You weren't sure what to do in this situation. Do you snuggle up to him? Turn your back away? You bit your lip as anxiety took over you. Suddenly, you felt his hands pulling you close to him. It was nice. _Really_ nice. You felt safe and rather small in his arms. It didn't take long for you to fall asleep, and for one night you forgot about work.


	4. Cumbia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Escobar has kidnapped multiple oligarchs and Steve catches on with you and Javi, causing concern and doubt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: drug use/abuse, addiction, violence

_"Papa, no! Stop!" you screamed, storming into the dark room. The stench of blood, meth, and marijuana lingered in the air as the wailing of the ambulances and cop cars echoed outside. Soon the lights began to illuminate the room, revealing the scene. Your mother was on the floor with foam around her mouth and blood seeping out of her while your father sat motionless on the dirty lay-z-boy. His head hung down, his beard draped across his stomach. You ran to him and checked his pulse. He was alive... for how much longer?_

"NO!" you yelled, waking from your memories. The red numbers on the clock stared back at you- _04:15_. "Fuck..." you whispered. You turned to look at your side. Javi was gone already. The two of you had a new routine established after work: go home, eat dinner, fuck, leave. Not that either of you really wanted to leave, but you felt safer this way. This was the safest way to avoid getting caught. Quite frankly, this routine kept your stress level down... to an extent. It wasn't a relationship, though there were times when you wished it was. This was more like a friends with benefits. Were you even friends? You shook the thought out of your head and collapsed back onto your pillow. You wished he was here.

You woke again two hours later with puffiness and dark circles. With a cold spoon, you attempted to decrease the puffiness before taking a hot shower. As quickly as you could, you did your best to conceal the weariness and got dressed. The weather was going to be brutal today, so you chose to wear a simple cream scoop neck shirt tucked into dark jeans and your brown boots. You wished you brought another pair of shoes, but it would have taken the space you needed for your books. You tossed your hair into a bun and sprayed perfume onto your neck before heading out the door. On the way down, you found Connie Murphy getting ready to leave as well.

"Buenos dias, Mrs. Murphy," you greeted. 

"Good morning, Y/N. How many times do I have to tell you that it's Connie?" she gave you a warm smile as she waited for you by the door.

"Alright, twist my arm. How's work going?"

Connie shrugged as the two of you walked out the building. "Not bad, not good. I'd ask how work is doing, but from what Steve has said, it doesn't sound like it's any fun right now."

You shook your head. "No, the cartels aren't happy with anyone- the government, the guerrillas... not to mention rival cartels. It's, uh, a great time!" 

Connie smiled and took your hand in hers. "What about Ja-"

"There's nothing going on between us, Connie. Don't worry. Please."

"Y/N, you guys aren't very **discreet** as of late."

She was right. The higher the tension and stress at the office, the louder the sex. It was incredible, really, but it was only a matter of time before the Murphy's caught on. It wasn't the loudness that got you caught... it was the boldness. It was about two weeks into your new routine when the two of you got sloppy. Drunk and lonely, Javi made his way up to your apartment. You opened the door and immediately kissed him before pulling him inside. Little did you two know that Steve was just down the hall returning from his car to grab a file. 

"We're two consenting adults, Connie. It's fine as long as you two keep it a secret." Connie sighed and nodded. You understood why she was so concerned, but it was hard to end this relationship. Javi was nice. He feels good. It was what made you feel safe and comfortable after hours upon hours of looking at corpses and tracking cartels, but where was this going? No- _how_ will this end is the correct question. You had no faith in men, but for some reason, you had some in Javi despite your denial. "Take care, Connie. Let's have dinner sometime, yeah?" She nodded before you hopped into your car.

"Morning, Steve," you greeted as you entered the office. Steve grumbled a good morning as he sipped from his coffee. "Javi's not with you today?" he asked, leaning back in his chair. You gulped. It was like being interrogated by a father. He placed his cup on the desk, waiting for your response.

"No, and I don't know where he is." It was the truth.

"But wasn't he in your bed last night?"

You sighed and closed the door behind you. "Steve, can we not do this today? I get it. I shouldn't be-"

"You can't pull that shit in here, Y/N. You two need to focus, and I'm tired of being the only one responsible in here. Get your shit together and stop fucking around."

He was right, and there was no other argument against him. You sighed and nodded. "Alright, sorry... I thought it would be a one night thing. It just got out of hand, Steve. Sorry."

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose then stood from his chair. "Are you two just fucking or is this some kind of..." He waved his hand in the air. You crossed your arm and looked out the window. What could you even say to him? He's right. This shit needs to end. It's unprofessional, but Javi was _your_ addiction. He's been the only thing that has helped you cope with the fucked up world these narcos live in. "I don't know, Steve. Guess we're just fucking. Look can we just let this go for now? I don't want to think about this when we have more serious things to deal with." Steve motioned his hands up to surrender.

"Just keep your fucking legs closed until this shit is over. I need both of you to get your heads out your asses."

Right. Closed. _Yes, dad._ You desperately wanted to roll your eyes, but made a swift exit to the filing room before you could fuck up the rest of everyone's days. The filing room was empty this morning, and frankly, you liked the silence for once. You hated being alone in your thoughts, but after that nasty exchange, solitude was salvation. You were pulling a few boxes from the shelves and was about to place them on the floor when warm hands snaked around your waist. 

"Morning, California."

You felt the familiar lips making trails on your neck. "You seem tense, you alright?"

You turned and painfully pushed Javi away. "Javi, not here, please."

"Okay, shit... sorry." Javi placed his hands on his hips, the look of suspicion on this face. "What is it?"

"Steve."

"Ah... Gringo yelled at you didn't he?"

"No, Javi, he's right. We need to... take a break from whatever this is."

"Whatever this is?"

"Just-"

Javi had a smile on his face, but the frustration was clear in his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Just **whatever**. You got it, Agent Y/N." Without another word, Javi walked out of the room leaving you with the boxes. 

" **Fuck**."

Really. _What the fuck was that? Was he actually mad? What the hell?_ You shook the questions out of your head and returned to your task. Today wasn't going as well as you were hoping, but was it ever good? You lifted two boxes into your arms and headed to the briefing room where the boys were already hard at work. Javi refused to lift his head as you entered, but you didn't expect him to. You placed the boxes on the floor and joined Steve in front of the board. 

"Anything new?" you asked trying to ignore Javi behind you. 

"Yeah, another oligarch's kid was taken this morning."

"Jesus... Has Gaviria made any statements?"

"Not yet, but he might soon..."

"Who was taken this time?"

"Diana Turbay."

Diana Turbay was a journalist. A good one. You might think this meant nothing, but the fact of the matter is that she was the daughter of former president Julio César Turbay Ayala. This was more than just a kidnapping. Escobar doesn't just kidnap the most trusted journalist and daughter of a former president without a plan. He always had a plan. You reached behind you for a pack of cigarettes and took one out. "He's using her," you mumble as you lit the death stick. "He won't hurt her. There's no way. It's a bargaining chip."

Steve sighed heavily and approached the board, fingers tracing the lines connecting the oligarchs to Escobar. "The people will listen now. This fucker's winning."

"We need to speak with Gaviria," you said as you rubbed your temple. "Turbay's going to want to agree with Escobar's terms for their daughter's safety."

"And for what? One life doesn't equal thousands more," Javi interjected roughly. You felt your chest tighten at the sound of his voice. "Gaviria can't let this slide. We need to make a better plan than these rich fuckers."

Javi wasn't wrong, but politics is as dirty as narcos business. This wasn't going to be an easy task to convince Turbay's family to agree with them. They were going to be desperate for their daughter's safe return, and their heads won't be clear enough to understand Escobar's tactic. The three of you knew this would be a challenge, but for the safety of the rest of the world, you all had to try.


	5. Azul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have been awkward with you and Javi, and Colombia is getting more dangerous by the minute. The DEA, CIA, and Search bloc work together to continue the efforts in finding Escobar, but Gaviria is hesitant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some smut, but more in the next chapter.

The aftermath of the plane bombing brought more terror not only to Colombia, but the rest of the world. Escobar's thirst for blood and power made the people question their support for him, but it wasn't enough, not even after the kidnappings. Escobar had sent a footage of Diana to her family and Gaviria- a negotiation. As predicted, Diana Turbay's family wanted the Colombian government to do everything and anything they could to rescue their daughter. Although Diana's father previously showed his support for newly elected President Gaviria, he threatened to decimate any political and financial support he has if his daughter was not rescued. Vulnerable and cornered, Gaviria reluctantly gave in, but this was not a white flag. Gaviria shared the same sentiments about Escobar- he needed to be eliminated. Even with his hesitation and doubts he had with receiving aid from Americans, Gaviria knew he can't fight on his own, not when half of the country supported Escobar. With the Medellin Cartel's hands around the government's necks, Gaviria gave the Americans the freedom to surveil the sky to catch the bastard. 

Meanwhile in the office, the CIA has finally agreed to work with your team. The union of DEA, Search Bloc, and CIA was huge, and not good news for the Medellin Cartel. Although it was unauthorized, the more eyes and ears there are in the air and on the ground, there were more opportunities for the cats to chase the mouse. You and the boys kept yourself busy with briefing the CIA with all the information the DEA had on Escobar. You also found yourself driving the streets of Colombia with a CIA agent or a Colombian officer rather than with Steve and Javi. Since your last interaction, he had become short and cold with you. No more calling you California; just L/N. It hurt a bit, and even Steve felt remorse for putting tension between the two of you. He kept his mouth shut, fearful of what drama he could cause if he questioned either of you. There was one thing you did wonder though: why was Javi this angry? Wasn't your relationship just friends with benefits? Did he actually feel a connection with you? Perhaps it isn't just one thing that you wondered, but these were the thoughts that haunted you for weeks until you decided to bury them away with thoughts of work. After work activities ceased, and you found yourself alone- truly alone.

Today should be easy: usual surveillance. You sat quietly in the backseat of the car as Steve drove through the streets with Javi in the passenger side. You stared out the window, hoping to catch any suspects, but every now and then you would look at Javi's reflection from the side mirror hoping he would look back. In the sky, the CIA team was listening for any suspicious calls when they found a hit.

"Got a location?" Javi radioed.

"Campo Valdes."

"Roger that. Campo Valdes."

The ride to the location was familiar: the feelings of adrenaline and anxiety. With no Colombian back up, dread coursed through you as you sat quietly in the back. This felt like a death sentence. You made a little prayer as you prepared your gun. Javi had glanced at you when you weren't looking, but quickly looked away before he was caught. Steve parked the car. This was it. As quietly as you could, you followed the two with your gun at the ready. You could see Poison and another man in the home. He had his arm outstretched with his gun at someone when he spotted the three of you. Gunshots flew immediately followed by shouting, screaming, and the sound of an infant crying.

 _A fucking baby?! They were going to murder an innocent baby?!_ you thought as you began to chase one of the men. _Monsters_. You ran as fast as you could, trying to control your breathing as anger surged in you. You **wanted** to kill this one. Pushing yourself, you managed to almost catch up before he jumped onto a rooftop and turned to face you. The jump was too far and too risky- you hesitated enough. Suddenly to gunshots. It happened quickly. It was quick as the last time, except this round wasn't a cartel member. It was you. You fell to your knees, the pain finally waking you from your trance. He got your arm, making you drop your gun. By the time you were able to get up, he was gone and the sounds of motorcycles roared in the streets below. 

"FUCK!" you hissed, grabbing your gun. Defeated, you returned to the house Poison and his men visited. Steve and Javi were already there, staring at the crying baby. 

"Christ..." you whispered as you entered the house. 

Javi turned to look at you. "Y/N, Jesus what the-"

You raised your hand to stop him. "It's fine. A graze. What the hell do we do about the kid?"

Steve approached the crying baby and crouched to look at her while Javi sat on the sofa. They looked as exhausted as you did. "Steve... we can't just let this kid go to an orphanage right now... they might come after her," you said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. Javi looked up to check your wound and sighed.

"She's right, Steve..."

After a few moments of silence, Steve took the child in his arms. "I'll take her. Let's go."

The three of you returned to the car with Javi behind the wheel. Steve held the child close to him as you sat in the back staring at the child's hand that rested on Steve's shoulder. It was a valiant act and you admired Steve for saving an innocent child, but you couldn't help but wonder how long he could protect her. Once the three of you returned, Steve went straight to the office and made a little bed on the floor with his jacket, while you went to find a first aid kit. Your wound was not too serious, but it hurt nonetheless. With the help of a CIA agent, you were able to clean and dress the wound before heading back to the office. You could feel the stares of everyone as you walked the halls. You couldn't blame them though- the bullet had put a hole on your favorite black blouse which was very bloody by the time you returned, so you were left wearing the black camisole that hugged your curves. As you got closer to the office, you saw the curious faces peering through the windows as Steve tended to the child. Quietly, you entered and closed the door behind you.

"Take the desk," Javi said, nodding at the empty chair. He had already prepared the necessary paperwork and set up the typewriter for you while you were gone.

"Thanks," you mumbled, settling into the rolling office chair.

"How's the arm?" Steve asked as he paced the room to comfort the baby. 

You shrugged. "S'okay. I'm alive."

"Good. Y/N, do you mind if-"

"Steve, I was already planning on it. I got you."

Steve smiled and nodded. You reached into the drawer of the desk to take out more papers to do Steve's report. He dictated what you wanted to write as he continued to pace the room. As soon as the reports were finished, you stood to stretch and roll your neck. You approached Steve and checked the child who was fast asleep. "She's cute. I feel sorry for her..."

"Me too," Steve whispered, patting the baby's back gently. 

"On the bright side, she won't remember any of this, I suppose..."

"I just hope I can keep her safe..." Steve sighed. "Thanks, Y/N. I appreciate it. I should get home... This will need to be explained to Connie."

You and Javi nodded. "Let me drive you," you offered, "just let me finish up cleaning." Steve agreed to wait, thankful for the help, though your true intentions were not truly for him. You wanted an excuse to leave with Steve rather then be stuck with Javi. It was too awkward. You hurriedly tidied the office before giving a mumbled goodbye to Javi who had been silent for most of the evening. Before heading back home, you decided to stop by a store to get any supplies that could help the Murphy's with the baby. It was the least you could do for unknowingly helping you escape a possible awkward scene with Javi. At the complex, Steve thanked you once again before disappearing into his apartment, leaving you in the hallway. Exhaustion suddenly hit you like a bus as you began to walk towards your apartment, but was quickly replaced with shock.

Javi was sitting on the floor across your door with a white plastic bag in front of his feet. "Y/N..." he started. "Can we talk?" He stood from the floor, bag in hand. He was serious.

_Talk? Now?_

"About what, Javi?" Short. Curt. 

"Us."

You blinked. "Us? There was an us?"

Javi shifted his weight and leaned against the wall. "Wasn't there an us, Y/N?"

"As far as I know, no. We were just-"

"Fucking?" He was mad.

"Well, weren't we?"

Silence.

"Look, can we just talk?"

You sighed, contemplating whether this was a good decision. "What's in the bag?"

"You'll see. Did you eat?"

You shook your head and fumbled for your keys. "No, you?"

"No."

"Alright, I'll make something." You entered your home and went straight to your kitchen. Javi stood in the doorway hesitantly before entering, then closed the door behind him. He didn't move. He needed your permission. You took out a bag of bread, ham, some pre-sliced tomatoes, mayonnaise, lettuce, and cheese to create two sandwiches. "You don't need to be like that, Javi," you said as you made food. "Come in. Make yourself comfortable." Javi nodded and sat down at the small dining table. He placed the bag on top and began to take out bottles of whiskey and gin. You joined him at the table with sandwiches and glasses.

"Let's talk then, Javi."

Javi began to pour drinks as he calculated his words. "Today was... it was eye opening," he began, taking a sip of whiskey. "It just made me think a lot about... us."

"You keep saying **us** , but frankly Javi, I have no clue what you mean by that. We were never **exclusive**. I was never yours, and we knew that this was not really approved, so why are you here?"

He stared at you with the look of worry and pain written on his face. You were too rough this time. "I know... it's just... seeing you hurt like that, well, I just... I just didn't expect to feel the anger and fear. I was worried about you, Y/N. I haven't felt that in a long time." You felt your heartbeat increase its tempo as you ate and drank. This was a different side of Javi... This isn't the Javi you were used to- he was tender and vulnerable. "Look... This job... We both know how dangerous it is, and there's a reason why I've been single for a long time. Back in Texas- ten years ago... I had a fiancé."

"Had?"

"I left her at the altar." You nearly dropped your sandwich. _A fiancé?_ You placed your food back on the plate, showing that you were paying close attention. "What happened, Javi?"

"This job happened."

Javi didn't need to say anything else. You understood what he meant, and you shared his sentiments to an extent. "I see... But the question still remains, Javi. Why are you here?"

"Because... I care about you. Because your life could have ended today, and I don't want that to happen. Because you made me feel safe and needed in ways I never thought I would feel again, but-"

"But you're afraid."

Javi sighed and rose from his seat. He reached into his shirt pocket for a pack of cigarettes and his zippo. You could tell from his stance and the way the vein on his temple throbbed that he was stressed. You followed his lead and stood. Slowly, you approached him, his eyes tracking your movement. Inches away from each other, the two of you stared at one another, hearts beating fast. "I don't want to be afraid of life, Y/N."

"Then don't, but what do **you** want from me, Javi?"

"I don't want us to just be coworkers. I don't want us to be..." He paused and placed a hand on your cheek. "I don't want us to be just whatever. I want to come home with you. I don't care what Steve thinks. We can figure this out." You sighed. These were words you had been dreaming of for the past few weeks. It felt surreal. Gingerly, you closed the space between the two of you, and wrapped your arms around his waist. It felt good to be back in his arms. This was all he needed- no words, just touch. This was all the confirmation he needed to know how you felt. Your touch eased him, and you could feel his body relax as he leaned into you. With his hand, he lifted your face and slowly leaned in to kiss you. It felt good to be in his arms and tasting him again. He was gentle this time... perhaps too gentle. You wanted him, and you intended to show that. You moved your arms around his neck and pressed your body against him, hoping he would get the hint. Your tongue traced his lips, searching for an entry as his hands found your waist. 

You needed this. He needed this.

Javi began to move the two of you towards the kitchen as his hands made their way to your breasts then your belt. He carefully lifted you onto the counter and began to take your pants off as you removed your camisole. He admired your physique before planting soft kisses on your chest, neck, and shoulders. You moaned softly as his hands caressed your thighs. This felt right, and your deprived body was already reacting to everything he was doing. Javi found his way between your legs, and slid your panties aside so his fingers could check how ready you were. You bit your lip as he traced shapes on your folds.

"Tell me how long you've been wanting this again," he whispered gruffly. Before you could answer, a finger entered you, making you gasp. The thickness of his finger made your legs shake. It had been a while since you felt him inside you, and you made the decision to not pleasure yourself after things ended. This was bliss. 

"Javi..." you groaned, tossing your head back as two more fingers joined the first. You placed your hand behind you as he pumped his fingers in and out. He loved watching you and hearing his name roll off your tongue. And although he wanted to get rough, Javi decided to be more delicate this time since you were injured.

"Take me, Javi."


	6. Amor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationships aren't just for lovers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to write steamy scenes, but i'm feeling soft. lol

Making love to Javi used to be wild and heated, but tonight was an exception. He was sweet, attentive, and gentle. Every kiss planted upon your skin burned into your memories despite the softness. He made sure to take his time to feel your body under his palms, and to treasure every sound that escaped your lips. He could have lost you today if that man had better aim. You could have died without making amends with Javi... Perhaps it was serendipitous. Either way, you were grateful for that shot. Javi took care of you tonight. He made sure he met your needs in every way. After you collapsed onto your pillow, he gently wrapped his arms around you. You felt safe again, and you found solace in his arms once more. This was probably the first time you slept soundlessly since arriving in Colombia.

You dreamed that night; a pleasant one for once. You were at a beach sitting next to Javi. He had the most gentle smile on his face as he reached for your hand. The sun was beginning to set in this dream, and everything felt calm and peaceful. There were no sounds other than the waves and the seagulls mewing at one another. Javi was saying something to you, pointing at the horizon. You weren't sure what he was pointing at, but before you could ask, he was leaning into your ear to whisper something.

"...Amor. Mi amor..." 

\--

The warmth of the sun creeped through the blinds, kissing your exposed thigh. Slowly, your eyes opened as you yawned and stretched. You hissed as the pain in your arm throbbed, then turned to find the empty spot next to you. You sat up in a panic. Was last night just a dream? Did he just... use you? A flurry of emotions went through your head. You were about to get up when you heard someone enter your apartment. The familiar footsteps were approaching your room.

"Good morning, California." Javi came into view with a sly smirk playing on his lips. His eyes wandered from your face to your body, making you realize you were still naked. "How are you feeling this morning?"

You slowly got out of bed and began searching for a large shirt in your dresser. "My arm's sore, but feeling hungry. Where were you?"

Javi reached into his pocket for a cigarette. "Just went out for a pack." 

You felt a strange sensation in your stomach. Anxiety... Something didn't feel right to you- as if he was hiding something. You shook the thought out of your head, hoping it was just your trust issues ruining another good thing. "Well, it's a day off. Maybe we should do something together?" You approached Javi and wrapped your arms around him. 

"Hm... What are you thinking?" Javi leaned down and began making trails of kisses on your neck as his hands squeezed your behind. 

You blushed, feeling his fingers brush your bare bottom. "Maybe breakfast first, then some sight seeing?" 

"I like the sight I'm already seeing..." He whispered before kissing your lips. You could feel yourself falling into his seductive trap, but quickly recovered. 

"Control yourself, _Peña,_ " you teased, pulling away from him. "I'll make breakfast. You sit."

The two of you head to the kitchen where you began to make some scrambled eggs, grilled tomatoes, and buttered toast, while Javi fixed a pot of coffee. It felt natural making breakfast together. You have had relationships before, but they were short and you never really experienced something this intimate with another person. It was nice to share life with someone... You and Javi ate and chatted about work, then Javi kindly offered to wash the dishes and insisted that you take a shower and relax for a bit. You gladly took the offer and headed straight to the bathroom. After a shower, you prepared yourself for the day. Simple make up, a light white shirt, jeans, and your trusty boots. You entered the living room to find Javi patiently waiting while watching television. You liked this. A lot. You wanted more of these normal moments with Javier Peña- no, you _needed_ it. It was the one thing that was going to keep your stress level down.

You joined Javi and sat on the opposite side of the couch. As usual, he was watching the news, and as usual the face of Pablo and his men flashed on the screen. You could feel the anger and frustration that radiated off of Javi, and you knew he felt your anger as well. The man was a murderer and Gaviria's decision to halt more aid from Americans made it even more frustrating. The two of you understood Gaviria's choices, but if his true intentions were to capture Escobar, Colombia needed all the help he could get. Javi sighed and turned the television off.

"Enough of that today. Let's try not to think about work, huh?" 

You smiled and nodded in agreement. "Try."

The rest of the day was relaxing- something you did not think would ever happen since you came to Colombia. The two of you explored Bogota with no plan in mind. Javi took you to gardens and parks, local shops, and treated you to delicious foods at his favorite restaurants. He attempted to teach you more Spanish and would laugh every time your nose wrinkled in frustration if you could not understand a word. He held your hand as you walked through the city, and you would catch him smiling at you from time to time. You could feel a change in his demeanor, and it felt great. Javi felt at ease and no longer in hiding. And, as promise, thoughts of work did not ruin your day. As the sun went down, the two of you headed back to the apartment with a bit of groceries in tow. You offered to cook dinner for him, but this time in his apartment. As you entered the building, you heard a door open and Steve's voice in the halls. The two of you froze as his footsteps echoed down. He was quick- by the time Javi unlocked the door, Steve was already there staring at the two of you.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he sighed, an eyebrow raised.

"Steve, we can-"

Steve began to laugh and raised his hand to stop you. "I'm happy for you."

"What?"

"Y/N, it's okay."

Javi paused and placed his hands on his hips. "What's the catch?"

"No catch. I... I get it." Steve's eyes switched to your arm. There was a look of worry on his face. "How's your arm?"

"It's a lot better. Just sore. How's the..."

"She's doing fine, Connie's- well, Connie is exhausted, but... I-"

You approached Steve and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Have I told you I'm a good cook?" You gave Steve a warm smile, hoping he would get the hint. Thankfully, Steve smiled at you in return, his body relaxing a bit. 

"Thank you."

The three of you followed Steve back to his apartment where a disheveled Connie was pacing the room with the baby. "Steve, did you get the-" Connie paused and blinked at the three of you. "Oh- I didn't know we were having guests. I'm so sorry for the mess, everyone."

"Connie, it's fine! I thought it would be a great idea to make some dinner for the two of you."

Connie smiled, thankful for the offer. Steve approached his wife, and scooped the baby into his arms, then led Javi to the kitchen table where stacks of documents and manila folders littered the top. The boys were discussing work as you and Connie bonded over cooking. Tonight's menu was a simple broiled chicken with lemon and herbs, a bed of rice, and a medley of vegetables. As the aroma of food swirled in the air, Steve went into one of the bedrooms to lay the sleeping child in her crib, then cleared the coffee table in the living room. The four of you enjoyed a glass of white wine with the food, and chatted about various topics that were not work related. A peaceful evening that you would soon miss.


	7. Inferno

The briefing room was silent. You could have sworn that you could hear everyone's breathing and heartbeats as everyone waited for updates on Carrillo and his men. FBI had located the kidnapped oligarchs and dispatched the information to Carrillo to begin the rescue mission. You could see the frustration on Steve and Javi's face as they stood in the room with arms crossed or leaning against a desk. You sat in a chair, hands folded and head resting on top of your hands. You tapped your foot and chewed on your thumbnail. The three of you should be there- though Javi would most likely insist that you stay behind or create some kind of task for you so that you would stay put, and knowing yourself, you would find a way to argue your way to go. 

"I'm going to get some coffee. Does anyone want any?" you asked, standing. You couldn't take it anymore. You had to go somewhere else to get your mind off of the situation even for a brief moment. Steve nodded and held up a finger. The walk to the coffeepot seemed longer than usual as you focused on your breathing. The smell of the coffee eased your tense shoulders- a moment of bliss. You poured coffee into two cups and added cream and sugar to yours before returning to the room. The walk back seemed even longer, and when you arrived, the faces of defeat was everywhere.

"What-"

"She's dead," Steve said, hands covering his face. You nearly dropped the cups, but managed to catch yourself and placed them on the desk. 

"Escobar?"

"No. Our guys."

"What??"

Steve took a cigarette out and lit it. "They hid her in a wardrobe. Escobar's guy was there, got shot, and shot her."

"Jesus..."

The next few days were dark in Colombia. The death of a beloved figure blanketed the country with sadness, and you could only imagine how the former president and her mother felt. Her blood was on Gaviria's hands now. Whispers of blame were pointed towards Carrillo and Gaviria, but frankly, you didn't blame either of them. You understood Gaviria's choice- though it was a bad one, you understood. You couldn't blame Carrillo either. He was doing his job, and Escobar managed to turn the tables. He knew he didn't need to kill her herself. He just needed an exit strategy, and it worked. Back in the States, people saw Escobar as a stupid slippery criminal, and you believed it once. Moving to Colombia has changed your perspective completely. Escobar was not just a lucky criminal. He was incredibly intelligent and powerful. Charming, yes, but behind that is a snake waiting to strike. The multiple deaths and extreme moves that Escobar made were not just acts of war- he was beginning to unravel. The level of danger has increased, and the targets on your backs felt bigger.

You and Javi entered his apartment, exhausted from another stressful work day. You let your hair down from the mess of a bun and headed straight for the liquor. You poured two glasses of whiskey, and handed Javi his share of poison. The two of you simultaneously shot the amber liquid in silence. The two of you felt defeated. It felt like Escobar had won this round, and you had to plan for the next step immediately. There was no time to waste.

"Fuck," Javi whispered as he poured more whiskey for the two of you. 

"I know."

Javi furrowed his brows and sipped his drink slowly before straightening. "I gotta go."

You raised a brow and turned your body to look at him. "Excuse me?" you asked, heart pounding. "Go where?"

"Don't ask questions, mi amor. This is nothing you need to worry about." 

You placed your glass on the counter gently, attempting to control your anger. "That's not acceptable, Javi. What the fuck is this about?" 

Javi sighed, dropped his head, and placed his hands on his hips. "Mi amor, please... You have to trust me. Please." He raised his head, and you stared into his brown eyes searching for answers. You studied the wrinkles and the worry that was on his face. You wanted to trust him, you do, but something... something didn't feel right. 

"Javi, I want to, but I don't think you've noticed that I know you have left early in the mornings before. You've left in the afternoons, at night- why? You leave without telling anyone, not even Steve sometimes. What the hell is going on?" Javi gave another heavy sigh, and took you into his arms. 

"Y/N, I know. I know you know, and I am so sorry to make you feel like this... It's just... I want you safe. Please-"

"But I want _you_ safe. Why can't you tell me what you're doing?"

Javi kissed your forehead and stayed there for what felt like eternity. Whatever he was doing, it wasn't another woman. It was something else. Something that could risk both their lives. He crouched down to meet your face, and held your face in his hands. "Mi amor, for your safety, I need you to stay out." He was pleading. Perhaps it was the way he held your face, but you felt that this was one argument you couldn't win. "Te amo, mi amor." Javi leaned to kiss you gently, and within seconds, he was out the door. Alone in the dark kitchen, you finished your whiskey and poured another shot before heading to the bathroom to wash up before bed.

You luckily found sleep that night, though it took nearly half the bottle of whiskey. Javi came home at some point, because the smell of eggs, toast, chorizo, and coffee filled your nostrils. You slowly sat up, your body aching from sleeping in an awkward position, then the piercing in your head joined the party. "Ugh," you grumbled as you shuffled out of the bedroom. 

"Morning," you greeted, searching for a mug in the cupboards. You still weren't over what happened last night, but there was nothing else you could do. Javi was ambitious and his passion to capture Escobar was intense. You expected that, but as their opponent grew stronger and irrational, Javi became more desperate. Though, it wasn't only him. You could feel Steve's change in behavior, and even you noticed some changes in your own thoughts and emotions. 

"Good morning, mi amor. Go sit down and drink some water before coffee," Javi said, planting a kiss on your cheek. You nodded in agreement. 

"How was your... whatever it was?" you asked, hoping to take a peek into his secrets.

"Mi amor, not now... Please. Give me time?"

You sighed. "Fine. It's just-"

"Y/N. I understand you're worried. I get that, but right now, my priority is to keep _you_ safe and fed." He placed the plate of food in front of you, and joined you at the table. The two of you ate in silence. You knew Javi felt bad, but you felt equally as guilty for pressuring him. Despite the tension, the two of you went through the morning as peaceful as possible. You decided that any discussions about Javi's mysterious rendezvous needs to be put on hold- for now. Before the two of you headed out the door, you grabbed Javi's arm, and pulled him into an embrace. 

"I trust you. I love you."

Javi smiled and planted a gentle kiss on the space between your eyebrows. You could feel his entire body relax against you. "Te amo, mi amor. Let's have a good day." He took your hand in his, and led the way to his car. He continued to hold it, his thumb caressing the top of your hand the entire way to work. Javi parked the car, turned to look at you, and pressed his lips on your knuckles. 

"Thank you for trusting me. I know this is difficult, and I will tell you what's going on eventually. I promise."

You nodded and reached for his face. "Okay, Javi. Just be careful."

The intimate moment was broken with an impatient knocking on your window. You turned to find Steve outside, a cigarette already between his lips. "Morning, love birds, get your asses out of the car. Shit's going down."


	8. Diablo

"We got an official cease and desist on any further operations until Pablo surrenders." Carrillo's brows knitted together. "Search bloc is going to be disbanded." The anger, hate, and testosterone radiated off of the three men as you sat next to Steve in Carrillo's office. 

"We heard the terms. No cops within to miles of the prison," Javi interjected.

Pablo? Surrender? No. This prison that Pablo wants built is no real prison. It's a paradise safe from the government. None of you knew that yet, but you would soon. Steve sat silently, the gears in his head working as he tried to create some sort of solution to their current situation. 

"It's a fuckin' shame."

"It's a death warrant for my men." You could hear bitterness and spite in Carrillo's voice, and you know he was right. A cease and desist is just another way to eradicate as many cops as Pablo could before he surrendered. "I won't be able to protect them. I won't let that happen." Carrillo settled into his chair, "There are cops who hate Escobar as much as I do. That's not going to stop them." 

"Those aren't vigilantes."

"Call it what you want."

Javi wiped his face. "We'll get you anything we find."

"Javi, cool it with that shit."

Javi turned to look at you who had been silent for the past few minutes. You avoided his gaze and stared at the desk in front of you. You weren't exactly sure what to say in this situation. The hatred these men have towards Escobar could lead to more deaths, especially Carrillo. You could see the tension and anger he had, but you could also see the fear behind the heat. He wanted Escobar sooner than later, but he valued the lives of his men. This operation was as complex as a chess game between two master players. 

"Steve's right, Javi. We need to cool it. We need to make sure everyone is safe first before we can make a move. If we lose any more men... we just don't know what could happen."

Steve nodded and motioned his hand towards you, showing his approval. Javi pursed his lips and turned his back towards everyone. You could tell he wanted to argue, but he also understood why you sided with Steve. His head and arms dropped, then a sigh. "I get it, but people are dying out there. That's on your conscience if we can't get this son of a bitch." Javi shook his head and left the room in a hurry before he could say or hear anything else. Meanwhile, Carrillo leaned forward and rested his elbows on his desk. You noticed a slight change in his posture and his facial expression. You studied his face to find an answer, but before you could speak, Carrillo took a sharp inhale and stood. 

"We will figure this out. Thank you for your efforts."

The cue to leave. 

The work day was long, boring, and filled with paperwork since there were no real leads on Escobar. Steve and Javi occupied the briefing room while you silently worked on reports and reading stacks of information in the office. You managed to get through a lot of the typing, writing, and signing for the day, though it didn't truly feel like a productive day. Compared to the States, your desire to be on the streets taking down the bad guys was much stronger here. Back in California, you didn't mind being in the office doing paperwork for most of the week. Drug busts in California were, quite frankly, easy compared to this. This was more exciting- though it was much more dangerous. The risk was higher, but that was _your_ drug wasn't it?

You and Javi bid Steve and other staff members goodnight before heading home. There was no point in hiding it anymore, especially with the secretaries and other officials gossiping in the bathroom, and the pats on the back Javi received from various people. Of course you and Javi had to go through special permission and paperwork from the embassy to make sure that they knew and the two of you understood the HR rules. No PDA and get your shit together when you're on the job. Easy for you, but Javi would sneak some ass grabbing here and there. Honestly, the little affection he did give you while at work was a nice stress reliever for the both of you. Being surrounded with photographs of dead bodies and studying criminal activities can really make one incredibly tired.

The two of you decided to go to a restaurant for dinner before heading back to Javi's. You could tell that Javi was in no mood to talk, and you felt somewhat guilty for possibly putting him into a foul mood. You glanced at him as you drank your beer, hoping that he would say something, but your impatience pushed your anxiety. 

"I'm sorry if I made you angry, Javi."

He raised a brow. "What? What do you- oh, no, mi amor. No. This is part of our job. I'm not angry with you." He placed his hand on your wrist and rubbed your skin gently. "No, no. I know why you agreed with Steve, and even though I think you're both wrong, this is our job. We promised not to let it interfere, right?"

You nodded and gave him a small smile. "I know. I just feel guilty... that's all." Javi smiled in return and squeezed your wrist before leaning to kiss your cheek.

"Let's go back to my place, you go make yourself some tea, and head to bed. I think we're both pretty tired." 

You appreciated his efforts with taking care of you, but part of you knew that he was going to go on his nightly trips as soon as you were asleep. You desperately want to follow him, but knowing the intricate web of relationships and connections he has built to get information on public enemy number one made you feel a little queasy. After paying for the meal, the two of you headed to his apartment where he insisted that you get in the shower and take some time to relax. You fought him at first, but eventually surrendered as soon as he offered to make you a hot toddy. You loved this side of Javi. You loved being taken care of, and he loved taking care of you in return. He may not say it, but he took great pride any time he could help you destress. You wondered whether this was what Javi was like with his previous relationship- the one he left for Colombia. Sometimes you feared that he would leave you for a case, but you've already expressed that you'd follow him to the next once this one was over. He didn't talk much about the woman he left at the altar and you never pushed him either. You could see the guilt and pain in his eyes anytime he mentioned it. It was rare that he brought it up, and although you were curious, it never felt right to question him. 

Javi fixed you a hot toddy as you settled in the bedroom, and settled beside you. He closed his eyes with his hands behind his head. "You think he's going to surrender?" 

You sipped the hot drink and placed it on the side table before turning on your side. You reached for his forehead and began massaging him. "I don't know... It just seems too good to be true, don't you think?" He let a heavy sigh escape through his nostrils.

"Something doesn't feel right..."

"Will you be leaving tonight?"

Javi opened his eyes and shifted to face you. There it was: guilt. 

"Yes."

"Javi..."

"I know."

"Just be careful. Please." 

Javi leaned and kissed your lips, tongue searching for an entrance. The two of you stayed there, tongues dancing and hands slowly caressing your curves. You were beginning to feel the heat in your abdomen and shiver down your spine when he pulled away. 

"I'll be back. Don't worry and get some sleep."

Without another word, Javi planted kisses on your cheek and forehead before disappearing. You buried your head in your hands, fighting back the feelings of anxiety as your chest tightened. You began to imagine Escobar's men tracking him and capturing Javi- though you knew it would be a death sentence for them killing a DEA Agent. You quickly drank the rest of the hot toddy before slipping into slumber. Nightmares of Javi getting captured haunted your sleep. Javi returned that night hearing your whimpers. He frowned knowing that he might be the reason for your nightmares, and crept into bed slowly. Unaware that you had woken up from his movement, you stayed still as Javi wrap his arms around you. You felt him bury his face in your hair as he whispered " _lo siento, mi amor..."_ He pulled you as close to him as possible as he joined you in deep slumber.

The next day was a blur. One moment you were getting ready, and with the blink of an eye, you were back in the office with the team. A car bomb had exploded in front of the hotel where the Escobar's were staying. No news of deaths, however there were many injuries. With everyone still under strict orders, there was not much you could do to investigate the bombing further. This was clearly the works of someone who was close enough to the Escobar's to betray them. The three of you did your best to track down as much information as you could, but in only lead you to more frustration. Steve would leave to go to the restroom from time to time, but you knew he just needed to get away and find a way to calm down. Around the afternoon, a suspicious amount of men were leaving the building- including Carrillo. The three of you exchanged looks, but Javi shook his head.

"Leave it alone," he said in a low voice as you opened your mouth.

"But-"

"It's none of our business."

"Javi, this is-"

"I said _leave it._ "

You closed your mouth and nodded before returning to your desk. The news arrived hours later. Mystery solved, and it hit the building like a fucking truck. Gustavo was dead. **The Gustavo. _Pablo's_ Gustavo.**

"Probably murdered by another cartel," Javi murmured as he lit a cigarette.

You and Steve exchanged a quick look, knowing fully well it was a lie. Obviously Javi had nothing to do with this, but you all knew who did. Tragedy after tragedy, but could you really blame them? It was a cruel and a very illegal way to go about things. It was incredibly unprofessional in your opinion, though you did not bother to question or push the subject on anyone. Even Steve made the conscious choice to shut his mouth. However the bigger question remains: was this a win or a loss? Gustavo was Pablo's right hand man. They just eliminated an incredibly important piece to his empire, and this could go either way: Pablo gives up completely or hell will rain upon Colombia.


End file.
